Category Archives: Upcoming Games

MASS EFFECT 3 ( Expectations )

DEVELOPED BY: BIOWARE

PUBLISHED BY: Electronic Arts

DIRECTOR: Casey Hudson

WRITERS: Mac Walters

Neil Pollner

RELEASE DATE: March 6th 2012

PLATFORM: PC/PS3/XBOX 360


 

Around early of June last year Bioware put Mass Effect 3 up for pre-order along with the N7 Digital Deluxe Edition of the game.

Naturally the Deluxe Edition would cost more, which is to say a good $10 more than the regular one. Guess what else is as natural as men masturbating and women in the kitchen?

Completely ignoring the cheaper regular version and not waiting for more than a week to buy the Digital Deluxe Edition of the game.

Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the excellent advertising campaign BIOWARE churned out in the form of this video.

It wasn’t the offer for the addition of some bad-ass weapons and armor, it wasn’t the promise of my own personal Dog on the Normandy.

It wasn’t even the promise of  the Tits and Arse of Liara T’Soni and Miranda Lawson that made me buy this game so quickly!…

Ok... maybe the tits and arse are the reason

You see, the thing that really made me sell my rare Hatsune Miku CM Version figurine and starve myself to the edge of death and misery is the fact that the Mass Effect series is everything I expect from a game that sells you a sci-fi story, by creating an entire fucking universe filled with religions, races, politicians and everything that could possibly be our future. Best part? They get actual writers and Hollywood actors to do the movie magic. Something most game developers are still not getting when it comes to making interactive-movie styled games.

Mass Effect 3 is the final step in the Mass Effect series that promises to wrap up everything from every possible angle for our hero Commander Shepard. Boasting more than 1,000 possible variables and a brand new Multiplayer campaign that also affects the main game! Having so much to offer, any regular gamer would only be sensible to ask a certain discerning question when it comes to game sequels…

“Will it be better than the last game?” 

Well if a picture is worth a thousand words, than maybe we should be able to put the following picture to context.

Oh...fuck...

That’s the Reaper Invasion, that’s the Big Ben. The Big Ben is on Earth….  and no, that’s not the scale you are fighting for. It’s much bigger than that. As Commander Shepard the scale you’re fighting for is literally, the entire universe, but you won’t be doing this alone, or rather, you shouldn’t be doing this alone. You better hope that whatever allies you made and lost in the previous two games don’t come back to bite you in the ass.  Cause according to Bioware, the Paragon path won’t necessarily be the best, they’ll be bad consequences to certain decisions you made that looked like a good idea back then. But then again, that’s exactly what makes Mass Effect 3 something worth looking forward to.

Cause everything you tried to do perfectly, everyone you tried to save, every ounce of power you thought you had over your own fate, may finally be stripped away. We’ve been given so much control over everything in the first two games, that could well be the big FUCK YOU we were waiting for, the exact change that would make us as gamers, vulnerable again.

And with all the hype over the game with the addition of this award…

Everyone is starting to expect more and more from this game, and we’re all raising the bar for it.

Everyone’s waiting to hear more quotable dialogue from Shepard.

Everyone’s waiting to hear Jennifer Hale as the female Shepard again.

Everyone’s waiting for little blue babies from Liara T’Soni.

Everyone’s eager to know if they’ll ever see Tali’Zorah Vas Normandy reveal her face.

An entire motherfucking campaign was started to find a cure for Thane Krios!

I personally want to see EDI placed in a Humanoid Cyborg body to have her married to Jeff “Joker” Moreau

Say what???!!!

The fans have placed this incredibly heavy pile of expectations on the guys at Bioware, and guess what? It seems that they’ll be managing it quite well actually.

I do however have my reservations against the Multiplayer addition to the game. I wonder if it’ll be similar to how Rusty Hearts tackled putting a story to a Multiplayer online game. Will it be played out level by level so you can only jump into certain levels according to how far you’ve gone, or can you choose to do whatever mission you want and their entirely different campaigns and stories like how Left 4 Dead does it?

Whatever it is, we can sure as hell expect to be in for a ride alongside our favorite characters from the series and see the fruits to the seeds we planted in the previous games, some of us attempting the games more than once to get a perfect play.

Because lets be honest with ourselves, if the game doesn’t turn out to expectations, we will go fucking nuts, bite on our fingernails, do Jell-O shots all night long and flip every god forsaken table in town as you promptly buy a ticket to fly off straight to the Bioware HQ  to slap the Bioware team with that Giant Purple Dildo you spent 100-hours of your life in Minecraft building.

This is why you need God.

PS : Special shout-out to Miss Robin Burks from Fan Girl Confessions ! Without her, I wouldn’t have played this game! 🙂

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