PLATFORM : PC/MAC/Wii/ Nitendo 3DS

Retail Price : USD 9.99

 Available Through : Steam / Wii Shop





When I choose to play a game, I always challenge myself to complete the main quest-line/game as fast as I can, if possible in one sitting surrounded by a dozen cans of Coke and the nearest McDonalds on Speed-dial.   I usually set the game on Normal and then only play the game again to get whatever I missed to aim for 100% completion.

That's 80-hours of my life spent not fapping.

Then a certain game studio… GAIJIN GAMES decides to come along and say, fuck that! We know how you do it bitch, and we’re going to make you our bitch by making you play a game that’s hard as fuck, eats up your soul in relation to how much of the game you didn’t complete on each level and make it  addictive, and trippy… like a drug… like acid.

The game starts of easy enough, it’s almost laughable. You take control of Commander Video and all you have to do is press the jump button and time that right. Do note however that I use the term “all you have to do” rather loosely. The game doesn’t tell you this, but GAIJIN knows you’ll do it anyway, you can totally get pass every level without collecting all Power-Ups or Gold-Bars but be warned…

The game has no check-points whatsoever or a “lives” system like most games. Instead, if you stall Commander Video mid-level he will basically go all Prince of Persia on you and simply rewind to the start, it doesn’t matter if you were merely 1 more obstacle away from the finish line, if you miss it, it’s back to square one, and here’s where you start flipping tables…

Fuck this, I'm going to Sparkle.

Same rules apply to boss-fights too, yes, as if the regular levels weren’t difficult enough, they had to have boss-fights,  but then again… what’s a platformer game without a boss-fight eh? ( A lot less frustrating )

However so, even if the game does tend to drive you nuts, it’s selling point is how beautiful this game really is. Not in the sense of *cough* Modern Penisfare 3, but rather more in the sense of being ACTUALLY CREATIVE with the art-style that combines 3D and 8-bit graphics. Combine that with the incredible Soundtrack that by the way features motherfucking ANAMAGUCHI on two of the tracks, and you get this incredible experience of wonder, nostalgia and awe mixed with I want to fucking flip all the tables in this house right now.

I mean, the game-soundtrack actually intensifies for every little thing you manage to do in this game, so getting a perfect score on a level actually means you get a perfect score! As in you know… a musical score…

Lets pretend this makes sense...

The best part? The game actually gets better with it’s difficulty, because it successfully rewards you with that feeling of accomplishment every-time you get pass a level. Here’s the math ;

( Number of Times Level Attempted x Gold-Bars collected ) x Tables Flipped = EUPHORIA LEVELS

There’s even this nifty bonus level you get that throws you all the way back to the days of the Atari =3

Warning : You will fail

There aren’t many controls to the game as this game is meant to seem like a classic NES game. So around 10-12 levels through the game and you’ll be less frustrated than in the beginning of the game. Oh, but then the learning curve for this game just laughs at you as the game introduces an extra move towards the end of the game that just fucks up everything you were used to up till then. So I suggest having a spare table if you want to finish this game in one sitting.

The game doesn’t have that many levels ( Around 50 ) but you’ll be playing this for a long time considering how many times you’ll be replaying each level. So that alone is enough reason to spend $9.99 on it.

Here’s my overview of what I think of this game .

Visuals : 8/10

Controls : 5/10

Music : 8/10

Re-play Value : As long as you haven’t won the game and have enough tables left in the house.

Overall Panda Points : 7/10

So if you’re the type of gamer that loves a challenge with a genuine sense of achievement at the end. Get this game, or if you already did get it during the 4th Humble Bundle and haven’t played it  yet, GET READY TO FLIP ALL THE TABLES!


4 thoughts on “BIT.TRIP RUNNER

  1. CarlosSpicyWiener says:

    i usually assume that indie retro games are just a lazy way of making money in today’s industry but yea i checked this out and yr right, seems like a fresh idea worth my 10 bucks

  2. This one sounds like something I might like. I really wished Steam would do games like this for Android. This would be an awesome phone and tablet game, I bet!

    • Well it looks good on the 3DS, so I guess you’re right about that, not sure if it’ll do as a Tablet game, considering the ninja-like reflexes required to play this game. But it may be good for a phone 🙂

  3. With the Clickbook 12, it is possible to turn any Internet, CD ROM or
    Windows file into books of the size and type, handmade cards, leaflets or brochures, tiles printouts, CD
    ROM jewel cases, day planner pages, etc. At their finest they produce moments that
    will make life worth living. z – Butterfly is
    often a nice place to begin looking for just what the user
    really wants to watch mainly because it displays a
    whole lot of movies for download from all round the Web.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: